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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26411257">Lull Before the Storm</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksz13/pseuds/JustSmileStuffHappens'>JustSmileStuffHappens (ksz13)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Buddie / 9-1-1 Prompt Fills [60]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternative Perspective, Angst, Angst and Drama, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Assumptions, Conflict of Interests, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs A Hug, Family, Family Drama, Family Issues, Fear, Gen, Getting Back Together, Heavy Angst, Help, Internal Conflict, Isolation, Lies, Loneliness, Mental Anguish, Misunderstandings, POV Alternating, POV Multiple, Points of View, Problems, Reconciliation, References to Depression, Relationship Problems, Returning Home, Sad, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Talking, Team as Family, Time Shenanigans, Trust Issues</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:20:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,350</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26411257</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksz13/pseuds/JustSmileStuffHappens</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>* Buck Dialogue Idea: "I don't hate you guys... I don't love you enough anymore to hate you. You've all killed enough of me inside to where I don't feel much of anything anymore." *</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Buddie / 9-1-1 Prompt Fills [60]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1582147</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>88</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Lull Before the Storm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Altered up the prompt like usual.</p><p>I don't know what this is but here ya go</p><p>I liked this before the ending but then again I didn't know how or when to end it so maybe that's why. Sorry about that.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Lull Before the Storm</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Buck avoided going upstairs. He could do a little extra work, it'd both show he was capable and let him avoid the silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He'd rather have them tell him how they felt then have to guess. Guessing was torture. Buck always assumed the worst unless proven otherwise as a leftover from his parents before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He'll admit now, looking back, he could have gone about it differently, definitely warned Eddie and took a little more time before deciding on things. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But there was only living with the consequences and hoping he could earn his way back into all their graces. It was mainly Eddie and Bobby really, Hen and Chim both were more supportive or pseudo neutral on most aspects of things, with them each looking at it from both sides.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The others outside of their closer group took a silently neutral viewpoint and Buck didn't see why they wouldn't, he wasn't as close to them as he was the others and Bobby was Captain so they skewed more his way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby looked at the plate he'd set between Hen and Chim. It'd been like this for going on a week now since the first two lunches and dinners being stiff and uncomfortable for them all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shouldn't someone at least ask him or remind him?" Eddie said after putting down his fork and staring at the stairs before looking away and shaking his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'll go, make sure he knows he's still welcome up here with us." Chimney said getting up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hen gave the two of them a pointed look as if waiting to shoot down any objections that never came to pass their lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chimney came down to see the truck polished which was a miracle with how it'd been covered in mud, dust, and dirt earlier after a call. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Buck wasn't in sight though.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heard the quiet utterance of a curse and chuckled with a smirk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Buck was inside of the storage closet sitting down with the handbook open in front of him as he tried practicing procedures.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You almost done? Want any help? Your food's getting cold and I need someone else to laugh at my jokes." Chim asked while coming to lean against the shelves and watch Buck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He acknowledged his presence with a 'Hi Chim, sorry.' While picking up the instrument and checking the gauge again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It'll help if you make sure it's leveled out before using it." Chimney said as Buck followed his advice and found it easier.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Right. Thanks," he nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Now, unless you wanna finish that section, do you feel like joining us upstairs? Promise they'll be civil." Chim smiled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I don't think it's a good idea yet but th-" Buck's stomach betrayed him at that very second by growling quite loudly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hmm. Sounds like you're famished. As your friend and your sister's boyfriend it's my duty to make sure you eat." Chim smiled waiting for Buck to try and weasel up an excuse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It does sound tempting."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Buck followed him up after putting away the gear first.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So you finally ate lunch together for the first time. That sounds good. But why do you look so down tonight?" Maddie asked while they ignored the movie they were watching together at Buck's.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know it should. I mean it was. But- it didn't feel- I don't know- complete. It felt a little hollow. I guess forced maybe. I think I'm just overthinking it." Buck took a sip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"But it's a step in the right direction. You did talk, right?" She asked her brother.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"A little bit yeah. Only, I didn't know what to talk to them about, it's been a while since I've been with them on a call and I was just listening to them retelling what happened. It felt good to be included but it also reminded me that I barely got back." Buck threw his head back into the back of the couch with a sigh. "I can't stop thinking about how stupid I was to rush things. I won the suit but at a price, ya know?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"There's plenty of stupid to go around Buck." Maddie laughed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Huh?" Buck turned towards her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Everyone can be reckless. It's not just you, myself included. But it's what we do afterwards that matters and counts. Trying better or to fix things." Maddie touched his head and looked him in the eyes earning a smile in return.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thanks again."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"For coming over? We're just making up for lost time." Maddie shrugged and rolled her eyes trying to play it off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Not just that." Buck said. "For listening to me. I missed this."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I missed it too." Maddie said as they rewinded the movie a bit and tried to figure out why the protagonist didn't just kick the bad guys ass and end things.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Buck couldn't help this feeling at the back of his mind but he did fall asleep before Maddie got up to leave and told him to get to bed before he hurt his neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>After meeting for his scheduled therapy both physical and verbal he came back to work the next day. He just checked in and reported how his leg felt and that he was doing his exercises before half a session of him talking around how he felt about being back at work now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At least Eddie wasn't running away to find something else to do the second Buck walked into a room like he was doing before but he still had those bruises that Buck had learned to stop mentioning outright until they were on better ground at least.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their conversations were kept short and mostly job focused. This was his second day back on the truck and it did feel better, like he was making up for lost time both with the others and doing the job that he loved and felt mattered, helping others.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eddie stabilized a patient while Buck followed his lead. Chimney and Hen were with another as Bobby told them a second ambulance was inbound and worked to keep a crowd back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were working in sync, but that wasn't new. Even with this mental divide between them Buck still felt that connection with Eddie was alive somewhat, sure very stained but still alive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The woman was going to live to tell her fiancé how she could have chosen a better time to surprise her with something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They loaded her up and handed her over as she was rushed to the same hospital that her girlfriend would be sent to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The trip back wasn't as quiet with Eddie starting a conversation with Buck but then adding Bobby in as Phillips mentioned this was the third call like this in two weeks because people had engagement fever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Buck could relate to bad decisions made spur of the moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Some of us don't think before acting. We're too lost in feeling the moment." Eddie said looking out the window and away from Buck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Buck guessed he deserved that. He did feel the same way about it after all. Thought so himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"The best we can do is try to learn from our mistakes." Bobby said while Buck looked at the back of his head before they pulled into the firehouse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They split up from there until dinner as Hen and Chim came back to them all moving about on their duties.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Buck made a mistake, more than one, but Bobby wasn't completely without blame though. He lied to him in his face after all Buck had told him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he'd have been more forward and told Buck differently or before he'd ever met Chase and got that stupid idea in his head things could have been different.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Buck will admit that yes like Bobby said he was trying to learn from his mistakes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey Hen." Buck greeted her as they came into the engine bay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hi Buck." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Something on your mind?" He asked while walking over.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looked to be thinking about something before his greeting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, no. Just thinking about Denny's project coming up." She shook her head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh. I'm sure it's gonna be cool.  You could send me a picture when it's done if that's okay and you're not busy." Buck smiled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. I'll try to remember." Hen said knowing there was no project to share anytime soon. "Come on." She nodded towards the stairs. "Chim's trying to win $100 from Robinson."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Doing what?" Buck asked looking at his equipment he just had to put up the tools for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's funnier if you just watch without knowing, trust me."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'll be right up." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Buck shuffled to catch up. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby had called Buck to his office. Even though Buck knew that he hadn't done anything wrong he still felt uneasy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You wanted to see me Cap?" Buck asked, coming in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Have a seat Buck. Please, " Bobby motioned for the chair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door closed on its own with a loud click behind Buck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>'Stop thinking the worst. It's Bobby. He might not have gone about it right but- he was trying to look out for you.' Buck's mind supplanted for him as he sat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had talked about it a little but nowhere near in depth. Bobby was coming around to Buck's readiness for the job and Buck wasn't trying to push for an apology past what he'd gotten while at the hospital.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Buck. I've seen you putting in some extra effort and while I understand that you're probably trying to show that you're capable, I also don't want you pushing yourself. I'm going to trust that you know your limit." Bobby said gently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm fine. My leg's been great, the therapy reports show it too Bobby." Buck cut in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes. And I'm glad for it. I just wanted you to know what I saw. If we're both on the same page then we won't repeat what happened. For what it's worth, I can see that I let my fear of you getting hurt overtake any input both from you and the doctors."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What's that saying? Hindsight is 20/20. I- my knee-jerk reaction for the lawsuit was a little rushed too Bobby," Buck grimaced. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"There's been a lot of letting emotions get the better of us going around. I was scared to have you back and the possible danger but I neglected to see that us being besides you can help keep you safe and we'll be there to help if anything arises." Bobby offered his hand to Buck leaning across the table.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Buck took it with a nod.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With his talk to Bobby Buck now had some renewed hope. Things weren't all bad and maybe they never really were as bad as he'd thought them out to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The empty feeling wasn't as painful and he hadn't noticed it as much actually. He was starting to remember that feeling of belonging and warmth he missed so much before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Buck just had to keep up showing them that he could do it and try harder to talk to Eddie now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was the last. It felt odd that even while he wasn't talking to Buck they could still be the best of partners in the field. They worked like a well oiled machine, as one mind just in two bodies.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And what Buck wouldn't do to get some insight into Eddie's head nowadays too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey Eds, are you feeling up to watching a game or playing something after work?" Buck offered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eddie knew Christopher was always welcomed along with him. But thinking about the lawsuit. Maybe he had to say it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You could use your key. I never took it back during the- It'd give me a chance to catch up with the both of you. If you have time and want to come over?" Buck added the qualifier at the end.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Maybe another time Buck. But I'll see you at the bar with the others on Thursday." Eddie finished changing into his regular clothes and got up. "I never got around to saying it, but, it's good to have you back." He said touching Buck's shoulder for a long second before leaving.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Buck tried not to let the barely visible bruise under his sleeve bother him too much. It could be anything? Eddie was an adult.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He'd talk to him if he needed to right? Eddie knew-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Eddie wait up!" Buck got out before the locker room door closed completely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He jogged over with his own bag over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I- I know the lawsuit messed things up. No. I did it with the lawsuit. But- if you ever want to talk, I'm always here to listen. I- I'll try harder, I missed you guys too," Buck offered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. I- I'll call you later. Christopher was asking about you yesterday." Eddie had this look in his eyes that Buck couldn't decipher even with how he knew Eddie so well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That'd- uh. That'd be nice. Catch ya later." Buck nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ball was in Eddie's court. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Buck had to wait a bit. But then again, he'd been doing a lot of that in the last few months and only gotten slightly better at it.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the coming days a lot would be revealed actually.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From Eddie's nightly activities, to Maddie's turmoil with a caller, to Athena's fiancés case, and then the IVF and Hen's accident with Evelyn. Each was a big hit to their closely knit group one after the another in secession.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But they weren't alone in it, that part became evident when after the dust settled they were still there to listen and be there for each other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Looking back things were a lot easier to see as warning signs. But then again hindsight was 20/20.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even when you're surrounded by people you can still feel alone or forget there were others both willing and ready to help you. Or it's hard to ask for help too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Buck knew that first hand. And he was going to be there for this family that he loved. He wouldn't give up on them. He'd fight.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This started out as Buck talking to Maddie but then changed into all this</p><p>So many misunderstandings which come to light after the fact</p></blockquote></div></div>
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